How to get over stage fright without stepping away from performing
Have you ever felt like the only way to deal with stage fright was to just… step away?
After I finished graduate school, I had such bad anxiety surrounding singing that I wanted to escape it altogether. I thought that taking a break from performing would “reset” my nervous system—so I could come back and finally enjoy it again.
But it turns out, avoiding singing was actually affirming my fear.
It wasn’t until I gave myself opportunities to sing and practiced actively loving my voice without relying on external validation, that I was able to reconnect with the joy of performing.
The Psychology Behind Stage Fright (and Confidence)
Confidence, resilience, and self-belief aren’t magical feelings that come and go.
They’re skills and mental habits that can be trained and strengthened over time.
So instead of waiting to “feel confident,” start doing the things a confident person would do.
Eventually, your brain will catch up.
Here’s why: Your brain relies on experiential evidence to build new neural pathways.
This means: the more often you practice showing up, performing, and surviving (even imperfectly), the more your brain learns, “Hey, we can do this. We’re safe here.”
Avoidance does the opposite. It teaches your brain: “This situation is dangerous. We can’t handle it.”
Which only makes performance anxiety worse next time.
So How Can You Perform Without Going Into Panic Mode?
Adjust Your Expectations
If you walk into a performance expecting yourself to feel fearless and flawless, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment.
Instead, tap into a growth mindset and set process-focused goals, i.e. goals that are:
- Specific
- Measurable
- Within your control
- Independent of outside validation
Examples of Internal Performance Goals
- “I want to have fun during this performance.”
- “I want to stay focused on my scene partner.”
- “I want to move slowly and deliberately.”
- “I want to stay present with the lyrics.”
These types of goals help anchor you in the moment and give your brain something safe and familiar to focus on rather than scanning for signs of danger or judgment.
The Bottom Line
You don’t need to walk away from your art to overcome stage fright.
You need to change how you relate to it.
With clear goals, conscious repetition, and internal validation, you can retrain your brain to feel safe on stage and actually enjoy the process again.
Stage fright doesn't mean you're broken. It means your brain is trying to protect you. You just need to give yourself opportunities to practice courage and confidence.