Why we get Nervous: How to Rewire your Brain to work for you instead of against you
If you’ve ever stood backstage before a performance with your heart racing, hands sweating, and brain spiraling with thoughts like “What if I mess up?” you’re not alone.
And guess what?
You’re not broken.
This is NORMAL. And your brain is doing exactly what it was designed to do.
Let’s break down what’s really going on.
Your Brain’s #1 Job Is Not Your Happiness. It’s Your Survival
The human brain has two primary goals:
Protect you from danger
Be energy efficient
Unfortunately, it doesn’t always know the difference between a lion chasing you and a silent room full of casting directors waiting for you to sing.
When you’re about to do something high-stakes like an audition, a speech, a performance, your nervous system kicks in. That’s the fight-or-flight response, a hardwired survival mechanism.
Your brain perceives “judgment” as danger, so it floods your body with adrenaline and cortisol. This leads to:
Overthinking
Racing heart
Shallow breathing
A strong urge to escape or avoid
Sound familiar?
This is why you automatically jump into a fight or flight state even if you don’t want to. Once your brain has registered a particular situation as dangerous, it will prepare you for the worst-case scenario, even when you “logically” feel otherwise. It can feel like your body is betraying you, but it’s just your body protecting you.
Your brain saves energy through mental-shortcuts
Because your brain loves efficiency, it will continue to default to familiar thought patterns—even if those patterns aren’t helpful. This is how we go about our day, performing automatic actions with very little thought. It helps us save energy but can be problematic when our brain creates unhelpful associations.
For example:
If your brain has learned over time to associate performance with anxiety or rejection, it will automatically take you down that worry spiral every time you're in a similar situation.
Why? Because that neural pathway is well-worn and energy-efficient.
This is why you might hear the same mental chatter show up again and again:
“I’m not ready.”
“I always mess this part up.”
“They’re probably not going to like me.”
That chatter response will be the most likely thought pattern because it’s most familiar.
The Good News? You Can Rewire That Pathway
This is where neuroplasticity comes in.
Neuroplasticity is your brain’s ability to change and adapt throughout your life. With conscious effort and repetition, you can form new neural pathways—ones that are grounded in self-trust, confidence, and calm.
It’s going to take you more energy at first, but it is possible.
Here’s how to start:
Step 1: Name What’s Happening
Instead of fighting your nervousness, notice it nonjudgmentally.
Say: “This is my brain trying to protect me.”
This simple act of naming helps shift you out of reactivity and into awareness.
Step 2: Calm the Body to Calm the Brain
Your body sends cues to your brain. When your body is calm, your brain interprets the environment as safe. Try:
Deep belly breathing
Grounding techniques
Movement before a performance (e.g., shaking, walking)
This helps shift you out of fight-or-flight and brings your prefrontal cortex, your rational thinking brain, back online.
Step 3: Choose a New Thought… Repeatedly
It’s not about toxic positivity. It’s about redirecting your brain.
Instead of:
“I’m going to mess up.”
Try:
“I’ve practiced for this.”
“It’s okay to feel nervous and still show up.”
“This is a growth opportunity.”
Additionally, you can set goals for yourself that are focused on the process and your strengths, rather than setting goals that are focused on external validation or outcome.
Over time, these new, more helpful thoughts will become automatic.
So remember, you’re not “too sensitive,” your brain is just doing what it was designed to do.
You are not powerless.
By understanding your brain’s motivations and learning how to work with your nervous system, not against it, you can build lasting confidence, resilience, and emotional agility.
So the next time that voice of self-doubt shows up, pause and remember:
Your thoughts are not facts.
And your brain is moldable.
You can teach it a new story.
Ready to Rewire?
If you’re ready to learn tools that help you show up more confidently and calmly under pressure, I’ve got something for you.
Join me September 13th, 2025 for Own the Audition—my free workshop that gives you practical steps to calm the body, recenter the mind, and walk into the room with grounded, unshakable self-confidence.
Click HERE to sign up!